I went to my first and likely only Toy (wedding) last Tuesday - here is my story
Part One - Pre-wedding activities
My host mother, sister and aunt had appointments scheduled at a salon. I was told to be dressed and ready at 4:00 but of course at 3:20 was asked where I was. I quickly took a shower and dressed and was at their door in ten minutes. I digress for a minute, I washed my dress but before I could rinse the soap out, we lost water. I took it to my host family's house and using water from their secondary source, it was rinsed and spun in the washing machine. At 3:00 I was told it was dry and to pick it up. We piled into my uncle's car, a four door Mercedes. Two in the front and four in the back. No seat belts in the back. About 30 minutes later, we were dropped off at the salon. First up my host mother for an updo. For the next two and a half hours I watched my family members and a whole bunch of others get done up. My host mother has very curly hair and first it was blown straight and then done up. This took a considerable about of time so the other two were only able to have their hair blown straight.
I watched two women in evening gowns and a variety of others get hair, makeup, facial hair removed and at least one facial. At least one person had three people working on her at one time. Salon hygiene is slightly different in Azerbaijan. Implements are not cleaned in between clients. Towels are reused after drying only. The combs and brushes are "rat tailed" and stuck in the stylists hair when not in use. If hair is cut, it is swept up whenever.
About halfway through this experience a woman came into the salon with a bag of new bras and panties. I didn't know that bra and panty sets were packaged in shoe boxes. At one point almost every worker in the salon came and removed items from the bag and/or packaging and held up the items and checked out their stretchiness. Quite a lot of business was transacted. It certainly was a more comfortable environment then the underwear on a table in the bazaar where the vendor is male. Another woman came in later and was selling toothbrushes, hair dye and lotion. Amazing to watch.
Hair was finally done around 6:30 and off to an aunt's house to change.
Part Two - The wedding
Weddings start at 6:00. We arrived at 7:00. The bride is picked up at her parents' house by the groom and his family members. After certain rituals are performed, the bride and groom are driven to the Wedding Palace. The car with the bride and groom has flowers on the hood and/or door handles and the rest of the cars have red ribbons. Honking is involved in the procession. Since we arrived late, I don't know what happened when the bride and groom arrived. The bride and groom sit on a raised platform by themselves for the entire party. There may be food on their table, but the don't eat. They watch the party and guests come up to give them good wishes and have their pictures taken with the couple.
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| Happy Couple |
Guests are seated at tables with much food; 3-4 kinds of salad, tomatoes, cucumbers, sliced meats, cheeses, chicken, mushrooms, potatoes, meat and nuts. Later kabob comes out, fresh fruit and a special plov (rice dish). There are many beverage choices, including wine, vodka, champagne and beer. But only for men. The women drink water, lemonade or juice. Tea of course is also available. There were about five hundred people at this wedding. There was also a band with two singers who played Mugan music (Azerbaijan's contribution to the music world) at an incredible loud volume. In between the music a master of ceremonies invited guests to voice congratulations to the couple and families. After the toasts, different groups would be invited to get up an dance. According to my host sister, you don't get up to dance until you are invited. At one point the couple danced and then retreated back to their seats. There was also a slow dance that couples danced. This is supposedly an import of a Turkish tradition. It was more awkward than kids at a high school dance, back in my day. All this is captured on video. There was at least one hand held camera and one on a boom. All project live on at least four big screens mounted on the walls and in the lobby.
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| Boom camera and screens |
This particular couple had known each other for four years. They had met in University. They talked to each other throughout the wedding and even smiled at each other. Many couples don't know each other, the marriages being arranged by family members. The bride wears white with a red ribbon around her waist signifying purity.
I enjoyed my wedding experience but can see why they can be boring. Basically all weddings are pretty much the same. I did dance a couple of times. Once I danced more like the men and provided amusement for the other guests. The men's dancing is much more fun. The women's dancing is fairly simple and not necessarily done to the music.
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| My host mom |
Part Three - After the event
We left as the cake was being cut at about 11pm. Another imported tradition. My host mother had hurt her ankle, so the decision was to take her to a doctor. First we had to drop something off to someone. This involved going behind some apartment buildings while talking on the phone to whoever was getting whatever. A little odd. Then we went to see the doctor at another apartment complex. My host mother's hair was also giving her a headache so we picked up a knife someplace to cut the rubber band that was causing the pain. This apartment complex was close to a relatives, so a chat also took place. Then on to another apartment complex to pick up a cousin. More chatting. Then on to home. Host mom was prescribed a lotion made of honey, an acid (lemon?) and a specific type of sea salt and then wrapped in a bandage. Since it was so late, I slept on the fold out sofa.
Another adventure successfully completed.
